~~18 Rules for "Celestial Dating" for the Latter-day Saint~~

This handout was given to me when I was a teenager in the Church. I thought it would be of some interest. Some of the things are amusing while some things cause me to think about how much the church attempts to place control over ALL members of the church. Overall it is a good guide for any Christian who has high values and morals.

1.  Do Not Date Non-members nor Unworthy Members.
The Lord does not expect you to find your Celestial Partner among the non-members nor the inactive of the church. They will have their opportunity as they repent and become members, or reactivate themselves with the help of the Church organizations that have been set up for that purpose.

2.  Do Not Participate in "Kissing-Hugging" Sessions.
This is the lengthy make-out sessions that many feel are okay as long as it does not go too far. This does not display love, but is a satisfaction of lust. Love is shown by kindness, caring for virtue, a kiss at the appropriate time, a hug of affection.

3.  No French Kissing
This is far to intimate.

4.  Date in Couples or Groups Most Often
Dating in groups is not only safer, but you will find it much more fun. You will get to know your date better as you do things as a group. As we get older, we tend to shy away from group dating. To almost exclusively single date is dangerous. Make group dating the largest part of your dating activities.

5.  Do Not Park
Much of the trouble between couples occurs in a parked car. Parking, just to "talk" or anything else, has the beginning of many a serious moral transgression. After a date, GO HOME! Once there, go into the house alone.

6.  No Back Rubs
Becoming too familiar with each other offers liberties not entitled to singles couples, and is wrong. Back rubs often lead to more intimate acts not entitled to singles.

7.  Do Not Lie Down by Each Other or on Top of Each Other
Do not lie down to watch television. Do not lie down together in the park, at the beach, or anywhere else which places you in a position that is spiritually unhealthy. When you watch television, giving goodnight kisses, etc., do not lie down to do it.

8.  Attend Only Wholesome Activities
X, R, and most PG-13 movies are not appropriate to see on dates or at ANY time. Drive-in Movies should be avoided. Parties or functions where LDS standards are not observed are degrading to our spirits and are especially not appropriate for dates. If you find yourself at a party where alcoholic beverages are being served or where tobacco and/or drugs are being used, LEAVE! If lighting is poor, couples are making out in corners, or anything is not conductive to the spirit, LEAVE! When at dances, be careful of your posture on both fast and slow dances. NEVER frequent bars, even "just to dance" or "listen to the music." If you do not stay away from bars you will fall into serious moral sin. There is no exception to this.

9.  No Immodest Dress
Dress that is modest and becoming of the LDS people is most important at all times, especially when dating. For women, immodest clothing, including two-piece and many one piece bathing suits, halter tops, short shorts, tight fitting clothes, low necklines, short skirts, etc., are inappropriate. Men, keep your shirts on and buttoned up. Modesty is displayed in not only dress, but in action and words. There is an interesting connection between the way we dress and the way we act and speak!

10.  Never! Never! Go into a Home or an Apartment Alone Together
A couple should never go into a home or an apartment alone. If you are in a home with others and everyone else but you and your date leaves, one of you should leave. This may seem extreme, but its importance cannot be stressed enough. Never give your boyfriend or girlfriend a key to your place.

11.  Never! Never! Go into a Bedroom of the Opposite Sex
Bedrooms are not for entertaining friends of the opposite sex. You should never go there even to "talk".

12.  Choose Friends Carefully
A person seldom arises above those with who he/she associates. Friends have an overwhelming influence over people, thus you should choose friends who have values and standards at least as high as your own - preferably higher. You will be judged and influenced by the activities of your friends.

13.  No Missionary Work One on One With the Opposite Sex
We are asked by the Lord to not do missionary work alone with members of the opposite sex. Missionary work is to be done without the hazard of emotional involvement which could lead to a romance, which confuses the potential candidate. Remember, we do not date non-members. Non-members who fall into this category should be worked with under the direction of the ward missionary leader and with help from others.

14.  No Late Hours
You should be home from your dates no later than 12:30. It is also suggested to be in by 11:30 p.m. on Saturdays. Not all moral problems occur late at night but many do, when we are tired and have been quite familiar with each other through the evening. Resistance seems to be lower at night, so make it a habit to home early from your dates.

15.  Each Partner Should Be Responsible for His or Her Own Actions
Dating is a two-way arrangement. Do not allow another person to control your actions in any way. You are responsible for what happens. Do not go out on dates without a plan. Not to have one may sound harmless, but that situation often leads to trouble.

16.  Discuss Dating Rules With Partners
As you date, especially those you like, discuss these rules and your standards so that you each understand what you expect from yourself and your relationship with each other. Set the "stops" now while your minds are clear and unhampered by emotion. It is too difficult to set them in the middle of a passion filled night. If a partner is not willing to follow these rules, or thinks they are too strict, drop him or her flat! Never let your standards down - even for what may seem to be the best young man or woman you have ever known. If you want the help of the Lord and His blessings, follow His counsel!

17.  DO NOT THINK THAT YOU ARE THE EXCEPTION TO THESE RULES
Do not think that the rules apply to others and that "it will never happen to me." This is the biggest error of all! IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU!! You are not so in control of yourself that you can afford to say to yourself, "Oh I would never do that." This is an open invitation to Satan to prove you wrong!

18.  The Above Is Not All Inclusive
There are many ways we are tempted by Satan. We can be directed by the Spirit if we keep the covenants we have made with the Lord.

But behold, I say unto you, the Kingdom of God
is not filthy and there cannot any unclean thing
enter into the Kingdom of God.
1 Nephi 15:34