Nicole Malstrom

Click here for my Husband's Testimony

Being the last of five children, I was born on October 12, 1974, in Mt. Pleasant, Utah, to Grace Koek and Adriaan Dingemanse. My parents are both immigrants from the Netherlands. They were both from Protestant backgrounds; my mother's family being strong and faithful, and my father's being broken and abusive. After my mother arrived in America, she met my father, they were married three months later, and settled down in West Jordan, Utah to raise a family.

After their first child was born, they had to make a decision about religion. My dad had been converted to "Mormonism," and wanted the child to be blessed in that church. My mother decided to agree, and she became a convert herself. After their third child, they moved to the Sanpete Valley, about 100 miles south of where they had been living. After they moved, things became trying in their marriage. Verbal abuse became heavy, but my mother was very strong and held true to the faith that she had in God to help her. In these conditions, she had two more children. Finally, when I was six years old, my parents divorced.

During all of this time, our family would swing back and forth between activity and inactivity in the LDS church. When I was about 10, I became desirous to become active and involved. From that point, I did everything that I heard was "right" for a "good Mormon girl" to do. Others of my family again became active with my pushing to be the example. I achieved my Gospel in Action Award, served as class officer in all three levels of the Young Women's Society, worked through the Personal Progress program in that society and achieved the Young Women's Medallion, participated in many activities and service projects with the youth and church, attended Seminary and graduated with top grades. I was even chosen as one of the Seminary Graduation speakers due to the achievement in that program.

I excelled in school, graduating second in my class. I was active in athletics, and showing great possibilities for academic and athletic scholarships. I lettered in volleyball, basketball, and softball as a freshman. I made the All-State Softball team for pitching while I was a freshman. My aims were set high, and sports became one of my main focuses, along with keeping my grades high. I was determined to become "successful" in the way that was being taught in society.

Troubles began my sophomore year in sports. The coach began showing immense favoritism, and I struggled with some of the things going on. I had become friends to a degree with the coach the year before, and I began losing trust and confidence in her. I hung in through the rest of the school year. I still participated in and lettered in all three of the same sports. I still had a desire to excel in sports and obtain scholarships because that was the only way I would be able to afford college because a single parent's income didn't provide that kind of funding. I started my junior year in volleyball, but the situation with the coach got worse. As I began to realize how miserable I was getting, I found other young ladies feeling similar things. There was about half of the returning juniors and seniors for the basketball team who refused to play that year, and I was one of them. (Being 6' 1", I was to be the returning center position.) I felt a great deal of relief with making the decision to not participate, and this was a turning point for me.

I had made prayer an important part of all of my schooling and sporting activities up to this point. I felt satisfied with my decision to not participate in the next sport (basketball) because I had prayed for guidance in knowing what to do with what was going on and if that is what God had in mind for me. Even with this, I still had the longing to be active in sports. I made the softball team again, but before the season really even started, I again had feelings of gloom and despair even though I knew that my ability as a pitcher held me a secure place on the team. After struggling and prayer, I quit the team. Instead of leaving the sports arena, I then went into weight lifting and thought about competing. I believe it was at this point that the Holy Order said it was enough. One evening after school, I fell down our cement cellar stairs that were covered with ice. It caused a tailbone injury that wouldn't allow weight training at all. It was then that I finally realized that I needed to change my focus.

Soon after that, I began working for an herbal manufacturing business owned by one of the families in my ward. He had been introduced to a man who was teaching him the fullness of the gospel. When he would come to work, he would talk to me about what he was learning, share scriptures, and ask me what I thought about it. With this, the scriptures started coming alive.

I had never been taught much of the history of the LDS church, other than that Joseph had prayed in the grove and received sacred messengers and ended up being killed for his beliefs and teachings. I was never taught what those beliefs and teachings really were in Primary, Sunday School, Young Women's, or even Seminary. It wasn't until my employer was sharing this information that I came to understand that there was a whole lot more to the gospel of Jesus Christ and to my own existence.

I began to dive into the scriptures. I began to spend much more time in the scriptures, history, and theology than I did in my academic studies. I was able to get through my academic homework and assignments quicker, and then I would be back in the gospel studies. I still attended Seminary, (I was now in my senior year) and I began seeing the hypocrisy in my teachers there. I studied much deeper than the things they tried to teach me , and even became very frustrated when they would skip over very important scriptures. I remained silent, and kept on studying.

I attended the "Models" for the first time in January 1993. I missed two days of school to attend, and I felt more spiritually fed in those two days than I had in the past 3 1/2 years in Seminary. I was taught truth at the Models, and that truth filled my whole soul with excitement, and the desire to be able to live the fullness of the gospel!

I continued on and graduated from high school, and also from seminary. As I stated earlier, I was also a seminary graduation speaker. I received some harassment from the seminary president and from my stake president because when I prayed, I felt I should speak by the spirit in my talk. They wanted a prepared talk, and a copy of what information I was going to present. I told them I was going to speak by the spirit. (After all, that's how all the early saints spoke when called upon to talk in any meeting.)

Neighbors of my employer began spreading many rumors about me, my sister, my mother, and my employer and his family. I was even called into the stake president's office because of these rumors. I could tell at this point that this man was not lead by the spirit. A few months later, I wrote him a letter concerning this, and what I felt according to the scriptures.

The night before my high school graduation I began meeting with a group of people who were all learning the fullness of the gospel by study, faith, and experience . A couple of months later, I quit attending LDS church meetings. I didn't feel the spirit there, and I felt it was a waste of time - there were no good fruits.

A few months later, I joined a family in this group who was living in Manti. I entered into plural marriage in January 1994. I was the second wife. I was very naive going into this marriage. There were not any good examples of this principle to follow. (The Johnsons, Allreds, etc., in my belief were all corrupt in this area.) It was a situation where the family was out of order. I had a baby in November 1994, and she passed away due to SIDS seven weeks later. I then spent the next ten months being introduced to and delving into many new age and humanistic doctrines. At this point I decided to leave. I moved back home to Fairview and lived with my mom, my sister, and her two little girls. I worked two jobs, and I shut my heart and mind off to religion or anything to do with it for about two months.

Then it was Christmas time. The family I used to work for in their business had become pretty good friends with my family. They invited us over for Christmas dinner that year. I was in their front room playing some games with some of the kids. Bart had come in, and we played a game of backgammon. Then he asked me how I was doing. The timing seemed to break through the walls I had built up around me. I started to open myself up and talk with him. I was able to see why my first marriage turned out so poorly, the things that were wrong according to God's standards, and what I could do from that point to turn my life around.

I began to look at myself and what I believed because I had told myself that I would never have anything to do with plural marriage again. After some deep soul searching, I made the decision that I could do it again, and my spark for life, God, and the future was ignited again. I started talking with Bart some more. I was able to open myself up and tell more fully of my experiences in my former marriage. An immense trust was built, and it was a mutual agreement that it was time for me to also join his family.

I did a lot of studying, praying, repenting, and soul-searching. My testimony of the truths I had learned before returned, and grew much stronger. My understanding of many of the principles of the gospel increased, and I felt I had a firmer foundation upon entering into marriage again.

I married Bart on April 6, 1996. I am his third wife. We also have a sisterhood between all four of us. Plural marriage this time around is so much different than my first experience; my husband is the head of the family instead of the first wife or any of the wives being in control of everything. I would want for any sister to have a righteous man as her husband, and this has helped me to be happy in my marriage.

I wouldn't want to be in a monogamous marriage. I really enjoy the company, the ability to have others there to help out in almost any situation, the chance to serve and grow together, and to be with those that believe the same and have the same goals. It does take work and sacrifice, but the blessings are immense. Plural marriage is just one of the principles or doctrines of the gospel. It is one that will help to try your soul in ways that nothing else can, yet it also brings fulfillment that you can't achieve any other way. It is the greatest way to learn selflessness instead of selfishness. You have to learn how to work together in every day life duties, in scheduling, in raising and disciplining children, etc. It involves a lot of give and take when it involves a dad, three moms, and ten children.

There are other principles of the gospel that are just as important as plural marriage; it is only a part of the program. The principles of gathering, consecration, tithing, adoption, and the doctrines of Father Adam and Multiple Mortal Probations are equally as important.

I now have a true Hope in Christ because now I can live His laws, principles, and commandments the way He has set forth. I have made sacred covenants that I take very seriously. I have received the keys of the priesthood and know how to part the veil and talk to God and receive answers in prayer. I understand and know the power of the priesthood in both the patriarchal and matriarchal roles due to miracles and other experiences in my own life.

I know that James Dee Harmston holds the keys in these last days, as restored by the Four Angels. (See Link to President Harmston's testimony of the Four Angels) I know the work here is true. The great and marvelous work of the Father is to gather the elect, establish Zion, to cleanse the earth of all iniquity, and prepare a place for Christ's return and usher in the Millennial reign. I know these things by the witness of heaven, and I bear this testimony in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Nicole Malstrom