"Family Relations & Plural Marriage"
by Randolph E. Maudsley
Back to Gospel Discussions Page
If I could part the veil for you right now, that you could see the Father sitting on His throne in yonder heavens, you would see that He is a man, very much as every other man you have ever seen. You would see that He is a Father, and a Son, and a brother and a husband. You would see that He has association with His daughters, wives, sons, brothers and sisters, and even His Fathers and Mothers. You would see that there is an order in His family and in the family of heaven, even the order of heaven. You would see that His order is order, and that all who are in His presence adhere to this order, including Himself. When the Lord tells a man or a woman, to put their house in order, it is to this order of heaven that they are to put their house into. This is what the Lord has commanded you and I to do, that we put our house in order, even the order of heaven, and here in Manti the House of Israel is being set in that order.
Now, the order of heaven is simply this: that the man is the head of the woman, and Christ is the head of the man. If a man does not acknowledge Christ as his head and obey Him in all things, that man is not in order and cannot be a part of the order of heaven. If a woman does not acknowledge the man or her husband, as her head and obey him in all things, that woman is out of order and cannot be a part of the order of heaven. If a man does not take the lead of the woman and become accountable for her to his head, who is Christ, then that man is out of order and cannot be a part of the order of heaven; then that woman will not and cannot honor him or remain with him, but, will go to another who will and can be her savior. After all, who do you think it will be on the other side of the veil from a woman, when she knocks that she might enter? That's right, the man or husband to whom she has covenanted. If her husband does not or cannot get through the veil to meet his head, who is Christ, then he can never receive her through the veil because he's not on the other side - he can't or didn't get there! Why else do you suppose a husband knows his wife's new name?
All good things in this world have their likeness in heaven. So, I will now tell you about family relations as they should be, that a family might enter into heaven, once they have placed themselves and their house in order. Where do we learn to live in accordance to the laws and relationships in heaven, other than right here on this earth and in this life? If we want to live where our Father is, with Him and in that order, we must learn how gods do things and then do what gods do; we must embrace a portion of all the laws and principles of the heavenly order here in this world and I mean literally! Not just practice at them or wish we had or could embrace them by saying, "If only the laws of men would allow us to?" or "If I could do it, I would, but I can't! But I will, just as soon as God changes me!" or "We don't have to do these things right now! But, when I get to heaven or when the Millennium starts, then I will do them" or "then I will be able too!" Baloney! If we do not learn to live in accordance to the laws and principles of family relations here in this world, and be tried, tested and proven in the same, we will not be with Father! We will not be in order nor in the order of heaven! That's the rules! Do you really think that God's going to allow you or I to live with Him, if we don't prove we can live in accordance to those laws and principles right here and now? Sisters, do you really think that you can please the Father by living a monogamist marriage right now, because you think you need to have extra love and attention? That's called selfishness! What on earth do you suppose plural marriage is for, but to purge us of all selfishness or unrighteousness, and to help us attain divine character and nature? You see, the opposite of righteousness is selfishness! Many have told me that it has been revealed to them by the Spirit of God, that Celestial Plural Marriage is the way it is in heaven and the way that Father expects us to live! Do you really believe that living a monogamist marriage to satisfy your own carnal and selfish desires, can be augmented by some nurse wheeling your wheel chair into some temple, when you're too damn old to be of any use to anyone, and about to die! And, then being sealed to a man who's lived that principle all his adult life with other wives, and that you will obtain the same reward and resurrection as they do? That's baloney, and you know it!
Now, I want to give you my own personal views on how a family should be run in accordance with wisdom, justice and mercy. Since I will not attempt to prove any of the things I'm about to tell you, I will rely upon your ability to receive and recognize truth and revelation.
First of all, there is a principle that Joseph Smith taught privately. A true principle in both time and in the eternities. Joseph taught that God will not make any woman remain with any man, in time or in eternity, whom she does not love! It doesn't matter what covenants have been made or ordinances performed. The woman has but one choice in a husband and she is allowed to make the most of it, if the man of her choice will accept her as a wife. You see, that which is sealed on the earth, is sealed in heaven. And, that which is loosed on earth, is loosed in heaven, even if it's "The Women's Resurrection Claim"! If this is not a true principle, then all of Lucifer's wives, his glory, fell with him from heaven! And I tell you that they did not! Because they removed themselves or Father took them away from Lucifer and gave them to another. Thus, rescuing them from a fate worse than deat, depending upon each of Lucifer's wives' individual righteousness and understandings in their long progression through their various probations; determined where and with whom they were placed in time and in eternity. Yes, some of Lucifer's wives did remain with him far too long and are now in deep ka-kah!
My wives remain with me, because they want t, because they love me! I cannot and I will not force them to remain with me. My wives obey me, because they love me; because they love to honor me. I cannot and I will not force them to obey me. If I were to make any attempt to force or compel them unrighteously, I would lose my priesthood and fall. We are told that if we love Christ, we will keep His commandments. Now, I tell you that if a woman loves a man, that she will do as my wives do with me; that she will honor that man and obey him, and sustain him as her head; she will trust him and look to him as her teacher, confidant, friend, her Lord and master, even her savior on Mt. Zion, for that is what a husband is and should be. And, if he is not all these things to her and to God, then she's wasting both his time and her's.
My children consecrate themselves and all that they have, to their mothers and me. My wives consecrate themselves and all that they have, to me. And, I consecrate myself and all that I have to Jesus Christ, through His agent, the Bishop. I preside in my house, by the order of heaven, for it is my house by the grace of God. I am the husbandman over my house, everyone and everything therein. It is my stewardship, it is my house, and our home! I receive God's Law and obey it. I give my law unto my wives and children, and they obey it. I teach my wives and children correct principles and they govern themselves, just as I govern myself in accordance to the laws, principles and doctrines of the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ. If I do not do so, then I am out of order and God will give me some punitive law or chastisement until I repent and return to the order of heaven. If my wives and children do not do this same thing with regards to me, then I will do with them as God does with us, place them out of my presence. Simple, huh? I have given the household and it's management to my wives, to do with as they see fit; to ensure dinners are prepared; laundry taken care of; general cleaning, my wives run the household as they see fit, in a manner they work out together. I do not interfere, I preside in my house, unless for some reason they cannot resolve a problem of some kind. I believe that if my wives fail to keep themselves and the household in order, that I have failed somehow to teach and instruct them sufficiently It is my house, our home and their household. "The buck stops here with me!"
One wife is not in charge over another, nor is there to be any kind of a pecking order amongst my wives. However, I may set a wife over or in charge of certain situations and things, but never as "the Boss" one over another! Each wife is a wife! Each wife has her own individual and separate relationship and marriage with me, from the others. As wives are added to my house, I will have to acquire other dwellings and at that time, I may have to call specific wives to oversee a particular house and household. I regard each wife as "my girl" and I have certain rules concerning one of "my girls". I do not allow anyone to say unkind or hurtful things to them, or to run down and slander "my girl". This includes everyone, from another man, woman, and any children, even their own children; this also even includes running themselves down. This, I will not have or tolerate, it in my house, the household or our home!
A man cannot tolerate any accusations or disloyalty in his house, either from a wife or from their children. This is how Father rules His house. If you don't think so, then please explain how it is that Lucifer no longer lives with Father in His Kingdom? Should a wife or child feel that I am an unrighteous man or that they can no longer honor and obey me, then they are free to leave any time they want. In fact, I expect them to, as they have my permission and blessings right up front and before the fact. I do not want any woman who does not want me, in time or in eternity. I do not want any child who does not want me for their father and neither does our Father in Heaven. Think about it!
Should a wife or a child turn against me for any reason, I would rather that they find another man to be their father or husband. I do not need the discord nor do I want it. I do not want to ever have to sleep with one eye open. These basic principles work for me and mine, because I see my Father in Heaven doing the same thing. Because all in my house subscribe to these principles, there is peace and harmony in our home; the Spirit of God resides with us; we are very happy and we all love one another. There is no unrighteous compulsion in our home, everything flows without it and we are blessed.
I am telling you these things that you might see the contrast between the order of Father's House and a house in the world or of Babylon. If one of my wives desires to leave me, then she already has my permission to go. How can one of my wives ever threaten me with, "If you don't do what I want you too, then I'll leave you!" Okay, she can leave and she shouldn't allow the door to hit her in the behind! So, why would a wife tell me such a thing? Is this not a type of extortion? She already knows she can go anytime she feels she needs to. If a wife were to do this thing, she will have broken the order of things - through extortion, intimidation and threats, she will have tried to control and manipulate me, removing herself and my house from the order, only to satisfy her own desires and selfishness, possibly at the expense of the other wives' agency or their relationship with me. And, should I ever knuckle to that wife's demands, I will have broken the order and I would no longer be the head of anyone or anything. This can never be! How can any wife, love, respect and have trust in a man who would allow one of her sisters or children, to rule and reign in his house over him? Where is the Godliness and the order of such a house? Certainly not in the Kingdom of Heaven. In order for a child to love their parents; in order for a woman to love her husband; in order for a man to love God, they must all know that their head is the same, now and for eternity. The same in law, judgment, wisdom, justice, grace and mercy. A man must be the head of his family, husbandman of the house and preside over the household, or that man, that house, cannot enter into or be in the presence of the Father. If that man, house, household, family and home are not in order, they can't be in the Order. I'm sorry, this is just the way it is. Amen
Back to Gospel Discussions Page