Tammy Lynn Pratt

Click here for my husband's testimony

The next year in school I had some real good friends. We got together and challenged each other to see who could read the Book of Mormon first. But instead of it becoming a race for me, it became a real spiritual adventure. Never had I felt the spirit so strong as to pierce my heart and soul.until reading the Book of Mormon. Never did truth stand out so strong and deep. The moment I finished reading that sacred book of scripture, I received my witness that it was true. There was absolutely no doubt to the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon. I also knew instantly that Joseph Smith was indeed a true and living prophet. My desire to be close to God was stronger than ever. I knew I must continue on.

I had seen and personally felt much discord among the LDS people. It never made sense to me to believe the LDS Church to be true and yet have such discord among the people. I didn't feel that there was any serious effort to bring the people to one heart and mind. In the Book of Mormon, the Pearl of Great Price and the Old and New Testament, they talked about much peace and joy among the people. This type of unity had to exist somewhere, but it did not exist in the LDS Church.

I also became fascinated by the scriptures, especially the Book of Mormon; as well as the signs of the coming of the Lord Jesus Christ. In the eleventh grade I still continued to read the Book of Mormon often, praying every time before I read it. I came upon a scripture in 1 Nephi 14:10 about one church of the Lamb and one church of the devil:

And he said unto me: Behold there are save two churches only; the one is the church of the Lamb of God, and the other is the church of the devil; wherefore, whoso belongeth not to the church of the Lamb of God belongeth to that great church, which is the mother of abominations; and she is the whore of all the earth. (1 Nephi 14:10)

I received very strong impressions from the spirit at that moment that the LDS church would soon no longer be considered the "church of the lamb." But with my father being a bishop, and my mother strongly in the LDS Church; I did not know how to handle the knowledge I had received.

Still during the eleventh grade, I had a vision manifested to me. It was as if someone had put a picture in front of me, and all was white. In that vision I saw my husband and I kneel across the alter. I saw everything in front of us and behind us, every little detail. The only thing that was hidden from my view was his face. My spirit soared high that week more than any other time in my life. Nothing could make me angry or upset, not even one of my brothers or sisters ruining my school papers. I had indeed felt the love of Christ, and knew what it meant in the scriptures when they talked about charity.

During that same time I also had a dream that I had 3 children, a girl and two boys. My husband and I agreed with one another, and there was much peace in the land. Why had God given me a dream at that time in my life? I was not yet married. There never has been peace upon the earth, and surely there are still many different opinions on the subject of religion. I knew in my heart that there was something more to do with this particular dream, but still I have kept it close to my heart, waiting for that day to come.

I held on to all my experiences, knowing they were all true and came from God.

I went on a mission for the LDS Church in 1985-86 to Kansas City and Independence, Missouri. While on my mission I saw many elders lifted up in their own pride, who gave glory to themselves and not to God, and esteemed themselves better than anyone else on the earth. The mission president even gave glory to the missionaries instead of to God. I truly let him know how I felt. The glory and work always belongs to God. I was also somewhat in a state of confusion. I had previously received knowledge given unto me from God concerning the state of the LDS Church, yet I was out there preaching trying to spread the "gospel news". Also at the same time my eyes were opened and I saw the great wickedness of the LDS Church, like unto that of the world. I was utterly ashamed to be associated with the church. Upon leaving my mission I was very determined not to marry a returned missionary. I did not want that kind of arrogance being around me. I had always felt the spirit strong when reading the scriptures. But always felt disappointed when associating myself with the LDS people and going to their meetings.

I left the LDS Church in January of 1987. I was determined to find God, so I joined a Christian Evangelical Church in Oregon City, Oregon; hoping to find God. I met and married a man who was a member of that church, and in February of 1988 I requested to be excommunicated from the LDS Church. But going to the Evangelical Church for six years made me feel even more empty in my heart and soul. There was no spirit in their scriptural interpretations, no spirit with their prayers. They had absolutely no understanding of who God is and the feelings and whisperings of the Holy Ghost--they deny ever having such feelings. During that time I no longer had the promptings or feelings of the Holy Ghost for it had left me, I knew something was not right. During those six years I had never forgotten the testimony of the Book of Mormon I had received, nor had I forgotten the special knowledge I had received from God.

In April of 1993 I was visiting with my Mother. She told me how the LDS Church had changed. I instantly knew it was true by the promptings of the spirit, never doubting a single word, because of the knowledge I had received earlier from God. At that time she also told me about the TLC and I could feel the spirit of truth and also knew it to be true. I knew that someday I would be in Manti.

Eventually we moved from Oregon to Washington. Even though I did not agree with my ex-husband's religious views, I kept going to his church to keep the peace between us. His pastor at that time knew of my strong conviction of Joseph Smith being a prophet. At first I would pay no attention to his "preaching" for it was only a man's perception of God's word.

In spite of everything, my mother gave me some wise counsel. One of the things she told me was that in order for me to be gathered to Manti, I must listen to every word the pastor would say (I must walk through the fire). From then on I listened very intently to every word he would say, keeping the good and casting out the bad. One Sunday my ex-husband went up to the front stage of the church to accept his membership there. I absolutely refused to go up and partake of it with him. The opinion of what people would think and say mattered not to me. For I had already found my hope and peace in the Lord Jesus Christ.

From that Sunday on, my "hell" in my ex-husband's church began. Every Sunday his pastor would stare and condemn me, using the scriptures his own way, turning and twisting them to his own advantage. But I kept looking him straight in the eye, never looking away, never crying. After every service I would kindly shake his hand, giving him a smile, and telling him,"have a nice day." It became so bad that I had to write him a letter telling him where I stood on religious grounds. But he even spoke about that letter to the audience. Seeking to find comfort, I would cry unto the Lord my God often. I made the mistake of talking to my ex-husband about it. He only told his pastor about it. (At that time my ex-husband was teaching the 2-3 year olds, being unable to hear his pastor speak.) His pastor talked about this personal conversation between my ex and I to the whole audience. My ex-husband saw nothing wrong with it because I believed in a "false prophet." My cries continued to the Lord and I came upon some scriptures in D&C 122.

1 The ends of the earth shall inquire after thy name, and fools shall have thee in derision, and hell shall rage against thee;
2 While the pure in heart, and the wise, and the noble, and the virtuous, shall seek counsel, and authority, and blessings constantly from under thy hand.
3 And thy people shall never be turned against thee by the testimony of traitors.
4 And although their influence shall cast thee into trouble, and into bars and walls, thou shalt be had in honor; and but for a small moment and thy voice shall be more terrible in the midst of thine enemies than the fierce lion, because of thy righteousness; and thy God shall stand by thee forever and ever.
5 If thou art called to pass through tribulation; if thou art in perils among false brethren; if thou art in perils among robbers; if thou art in perils by land or by sea;
6 If thou art accused with all manner of false accusations; if thine enemies fall upon thee; if they tear thee from the society of thy father and mother and brethren and sisters; and if with a drawn sword thine enemies tear thee from the bosom of thy wife, and of thine offspring, and thine elder son, although but six years of age, shall cling to thy garments, and shall say, My father, my father, why can't you stay with us? O, my father, what are the men going to do with you? and if then he shall be thrust from thee by the sword, and thou be dragged to prison, and thine enemies prowl around thee like wolves for the blood of the lamb;
7 And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.
8 The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he? (D&C 122:1-8)

I knew I was no better than the Lord, for he suffered--the greatest of all. So I continued going to my ex-husband's church. The staring and condemning continued, but again I would always give him a hand shake and a smile. One Sunday evening I could not sleep. I was crying and hurting to be in Manti. My ex-husband could offer me no comfort. It would be impossible for him since he could not understand truth. So I wrote my feelings down on paper:

The bucket of my life is full of tears and sorrows from men. Help me Lord to use my bucket to grow wisdom and strength from above.
Though men say my heart is not to the Lord, yet I will not turn to the right or to the left. It is better for me to suffer from sorrows of men than to deny the true and living God.
Have mercy on me Lord, a sinner. Deliver me from the evil one, who from my youth up has been at my side to torture me and in vain has wanted me to deny the true and living God.
Mine ears incline to thy voice at day and my dreams unite to thy spirit at night to hear an answer what thou wantest me to do.
My soul shall never be at rest until I stand on the holy hill of the Lord. I cry at day and lie down in sorrow at night because I am not there. I am waiting Lord to receive the blessings that await me there.
The words of mine are vain and foolish. I cannot write my thoughts down. Yet my heart and soul perceives it all. How I wish that everyone I have known could perceive the words of truth! But my heart sorrows for them because of their stubbornness. They would rather suffer than to experience life and salvation.

I picked up my courage and strength, and continued going. One Sunday before services started I was looking through the Old Testament. It was as if someone had opened the page before me. Every word gave me comfort, strength and courage:

1 The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
2 When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell.
3 Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident.
4 One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to inquire in his temple.
5 For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock.
6 And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the LORD.
7 Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me.
8 When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek.
9 Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation.
10 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.
11 Teach me thy way, O LORD, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies.
12 Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty.
13 I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
14 Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD. (Psalms 27:1-14)

I relied upon this chapter many times, thanking the Lord my God that He had found it for me. But as always every Sunday would be the same. But this Pastor never accomplished his design to remove my heart from the truth. Finally, I had to give him another letter, so I gave him a copy of Jim Harmston's Testimony, letting him know where I firmly stood. I continued searching the scriptures and praying. In Psalms 27:14 there is a cross reference to D&C 98:1-3:

1 Verily I say unto you my friends, fear not, let your hearts be comforted; yea, rejoice evermore, and in everything give thanks;
2 Waiting patiently on the Lord, for your prayers have entered into the ears of the Lord of Sabaoth, and are recorded with this seal and testament--the Lord hath sworn and decreed that they shall be granted.
3 Therefore, he giveth this promise unto you, with an immutable covenant that they shall be fulfilled; and all things wherewith you have been afflicted shall work together for your good, and to my name's glory, saith the Lord. (D&C 98:1-3)

I had a very powerful witness come over me at that time. I knew the Lord was preparing the way for me to come to Manti. I also learned from studying God's word that I must thank the Lord for bringing this pastor into my life. Even though I was much disliked by all around me, I still had a most strong inner peace and joy that none could take away. Christmas time came and there was a party at his church. I told myself to make the best of it. But sure enough, the pastor stared at me condemningly. My emotions were high and I went out of the church crying and wishing with all of my heart to be in Manti.

Finally on March 1,1998 he was so bad and terrible against Joseph Smith that I finally knew it was time to stop going. Whether there would be peace or not between my ex-husband and I mattered not anymore to me. I had to stand up for the truth.
I came upon a song in the hymn book, "Let Each Man Learn to Know Himself," and I wrote it down and gave it to the pastor. I also told him once again where I stood on religious ground. Also that I forgave him for how he feels about Joseph Smith and me.

It was time for me to leave for Manti. With all of my heart I wanted to bring all 3 of my children. But the Lord had another plan for me, because I was not permitted by the court to bring them with me:

And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life. (Matthew 19:29)

I knew I had to make that sacrifice. But I must take a stand for the truth is found here. After I found myself in Manti without my children, I wrote the following poem:

Whom am I without being a mother in Zion?
They have gone out of my reach, my sound and my loving touch.
Who will hear my cries as if my soul should be pretended to be comforted?
I have given each one flesh and blood and a new name that should not be forgotten under heaven.
My prayer to you Lord is that I may see them again in this earth life, that I may once again hear the laughing hearts of my children.
Oh Lord, my prayer is to you and if my children should die in an instant that you would take them up into your loving arms that they should once again feel the embrace of loving assurance.
Thank you Lord for the law of sacrifice.
May it be known under heaven and earth that I have written your name in my heart, to never be removed though all hell should combine against me.
To my children I bid farewell, for I have found the Lord my God, for in him alone I will find comfort to my soul.

I am very grateful and feel most blessed to have a knowledge of multiple mortal probations. To understand and realize that my children have more than one "earth" life to hear the words of truth and life. The plan of a loving God and Father in heaven provides for the whole and complete progression of his children in all ways. To know God's purpose in life is to have a kind of hope I would never have anywhere else except here in Manti. It is God's whole purpose to bring all men unto him, if they but obey Him, even though it may take more than one "earth" life.

For behold, this is my work and my glory--to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. (Moses 1:39)

I can from personal experience testify that there is an evil side on the other side of the veil. They want to destroy as many souls as possible. We must be aware and be very cautious to never let them possess our souls, tempt our minds, or deceive us.

I moved here July 16, 1998. The first day I was here my mom introduced me to some people, and one of them was John Pratt. I had a very strong feeling come over me when I first saw him. I prayed about him the first night I was here. I only had to think upon his name in my prayer and instantly receive a powerful witness. I knew he would be my husband. We were married on September 2,1998. Never have I received such complete happiness as I have with John Pratt as my husband, and being a member of the True and Living Church of Jesus Christ of Saints of the Last Days. I would like to share with you one more poem I wrote when I was in the eleventh grade that guided my life to find John.

The Joy of Knowing

The day I saw him, he filled my soul with joy.

With a love that runneth over our cups, we shall endure in life.

With the children of God sent to us, we shall have fulfilled our lives.

As a man and a woman, we have a need to become like God.

The joy of knowing is my husband, John William Pratt.

When I first wrote the poem, I had no idea of what my husband's name would be. So I purposedly left the name part blank. I filled in my husband's name after we were married.

I can testify in words of soberness and deepest feelings that the TLC is true. I now have the promptings and the feelings of the Holy Ghost in my life again, and much stronger than before. The spirit here is strong and there is peace and joy of mind and in our surroundings. The sacred scriptures speak to your soul. You will have things come to you like you have never known before. You will understand the scriptures in full. You will be guided by a true and living prophet and apostles. There are many wonderful experiences that are found here. Your life will never be the same - I promise.

Come, help us build up Zion, help us to prepare for that which is to come. All of you who are the true blood lineage of Israel will know what I have written is true. I leave my testimony and also my witness for all who may read it.

Tammy Lynn Pratt

September 15, 1998

Updated 26 February 1999

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