Randi Harper
Randi Harper
I married a man who was indifferent to religion, and so stopped going to church altogether. When we divorced, I felt the tugs of spirituality prompting me to do something about religion once again. I started going back to the Catholic church but was feeling very empty inside. In 1988, I met LDS missionaries and was overwhelmed with joy because I felt I had finally met people who knew the answers to questions I had had over the years. I was baptized that year much to the dismay of my very Catholic family. They felt that I was under emotional stress because of my divorce, and would soon see the error of my ways and come back to the Catholic church. I couldn’t explain to them that to do so would be like taking a giant step backward. In my mind, if the LDS church was not true, then nothing was true. I had many wonderfully spiritual experiences while LDS and was blessed to have known many people, who I feel to this day are trying the best they can to live a Christ-centered life. I was the recipient of countless acts of service--things like women cleaning my home when I was working nearly 60 hours a week, people anonymously dropping off baskets of Christmas presents on my porch, friends loaning me vehicles when mine was out of commission, and people who would spend hours explaining points of doctrine to me.
However, just as when I was a Catholic and there were smalls things that didn’t set well with me, I began to see things in the LDS church that I couldn’t reconcile. For example, I am against abortion in all cases, not just because of my Catholic upbringing, but because it is something that I know in my soul to be a grave sin. Yet one time I was watching a videotape of General Conference and a General Authority made the statement that abortion was not to be allowed, except in the cases of rape or incest or when the life of the mother is in danger. I was appalled at his statement, because I felt that abortion was murder, no matter what. How could someone who claimed to speak for God, get up there and make such a statement and not be reprimanded? I got on the phone to the missionaries who taught me and expressed my concern. They reminded me that I do not know all things and that if the General Authorities say that abortion can be allowed in those cases, then it must be because God knows something that we don’t. I decided to fast and pray about the situation, knowing that if I got an answer that said the General Authority was wrong, I would need to leave the church. I worried about that because I felt that the LDS church was true and didn’t know what I would do. I prayed and fasted and got the distinct answer that this was not my battle to fight right now, and that now was not the time to worry about what the General Authority said. I felt that sometime in the future I would be given more understanding, but that for now, I was to forget about it. I knew it would be hard to forget about it, but I also knew that now was not the time.
Another thing that began to be strange to me in the LDS church, was local treatment of the poor. When I first joined the church as a single mom, the bishopric would frequently call me into the office and offer to help in any way they could, with rent, food, and utility money. They always told me to pay my tithing first, THEN if I couldn’t pay my bills, the church was responsible to help me out. I usually worked from 2-4 jobs at a time to make ends meet and was grateful for the concern shown toward me. In later years though, I saw a slow change happen. I had a bishop tell me that it was OK for me to not pay tithing if I couldn’t since the Lord would understand that I had bills to pay as a single mom and might not be able to pay tithing. He said the church can’t help people pay bills except in extreme cases so if I couldn’t pay my tithing I was not to worry. I had a friend who was also a single mom and who was in danger of losing her home. She went to the bishop for help and was told she should look for a second job instead. I was starting to wonder about the Law of Consecration that I promised to obey in the temple. Why were there so many poor in a church of people who vowed to live consecration? I didn’t understand. I saw single moms who were so desperate to make ends meet that they would live with their boyfriends, or marry non-members. It didn’t seem right to me.
As a single mom, I dreamed of someday having the typical Mormon family. I longed for a righteous priesthood holder to lead my family and to be a good father to my 2 daughters. I prayed for the day when I wouldn’t have to work 2 jobs or more than 40 hours a week. I wanted a man who would live all God’ s laws. Yet the LDS men I dated were strangely unconcerned with finding a mate who wanted to live God’s laws. I was told repeatedly by LDS guys that they wanted someone who was prettier, who was a virgin, who didn’t have kids, who dressed in mini-skirts, who had more money, who was skinnier, or who would help them cheat on their wives. (Yes, believe it or not I was asked out by a MARRIED LDS man.) Where was a man who just wanted someone to help him live righteously? Many married LDS women told me that if polygamy was reinstated, they would share their husbands with me because they hated the plight of single mothers. I believed that these good women meant what they said. I knew that “someday” we would have to live polygamy, but I was also grateful that the Lord found his people unworthy to live this law any longer. I didn’t want these women to share their husbands with me--I wanted my own!
I had a strange dream one time while LDS. I won’t go into the particulars here, but in the dream I was told that if I could figure out the dream, I would know one of the mysteries of life. I prayed to be able to know what the dream meant. I feared dying before finding out what great mystery the dream held. Years passed and I thought of the dream often, praying to be able to know the secret, to no avail. Like the abortion issue, I knew this was something that I would just have to be patient about.
In 1997, I began going to an LDS message board. I made friends with many of the people there. One of the people I was very intrigued with was a man named John. I can’t explain how I felt except to say that for some strange reason I was drawn to him and would look on the message board to see what he had to say. I found out from another lady on the board that this John was a polygamist! One day, I received an e-mail from John. I answered his e-mail and he wrote a couple more times. I was kind of sad because I had a personal policy at that time that I never e-mailed a man who I knew to be married, more than 3 times. In my mind, writing more than 3 times constitutes somewhat of a “relationship” and I didn’t feel it proper to have a relationship, even if only via e-mail, with a married man. I felt it was unfair to his wife, or in John’s case, his wives. I wrote John, telling him that this would be my last e-mail, because of my personal policy. I thought that would be the end of it, but was surprised at myself when he wrote back saying that his wives said it was OK if he wrote me. I was actually happy! I was so fascinated by this man that I was glad to find a way that I could still correspond with him. John began telling me about his church and how they lived what they feel are ALL of God’s laws. They lived consecration and plural marriage, among others. It started making sense to me. Consecration seemed like the perfect answer to the plight of the single mothers I had known. As a matter of fact, plural marriage also seemed like a perfect answer, as much as I hated the thought of polygamy.
John and I started emailing frequently, then chatting on the Internet, and finally calling each other on the telephone. I was scared because I felt so strongly that so much of what he was saying was true. One night we were talking about abortion. I asked him what his church thought about abortion. He said that it was wrong. I said, “Even in the case of rape or incest or if the mother’s life is in danger?” He told me that it is ALWAYS wrong. I felt a voice say to me, “NOW is the time to be concerned about this issue.” I knew then that I had received an answer to a prayer that was uttered so many years before. John was the answer to another prayer as well. One night while talking on the phone, John made mention of something and I knew immediately by what he said, that HE knew the answer to the mysterious dream I had years before. Sure enough, as I questioned him, he explained my dream, without knowing what he was doing! I was overcome by emotion, overwhelmed by the thought that God loved me enough to send me the man who would teach me one of the mysteries of the universe. John asked me to marry him, over the phone, without ever having seen a picture of me. He said he was only looking for someone who wants to live God’s laws. Once again, God sent me exactly what I asked for--a man who only wanted to live righteously and who would do whatever God asked of him. Since I had strong feelings for John, but wasn’t certain how I felt about his church, I told John I needed to pray about whether I could join his church. I told him I needed to keep my feelings for him out of it because if I couldn’t believe his church was true, then my feelings for him were immaterial. He agreed. I prayed then and received an answer I did not expect. I was told by the Lord that I could NOT keep my feelings for John out of my decision on whether or not to join the church because John and the Gospel were inseparable in God’s eyes. I could not have John without the Gospel and I could not have the Gospel without John, because God was telling me that John was to be my husband.
John came to visit me in July of 1997, a few months after we “met” on the computer. 2 weeks after his first visit, he came back again, but this time to move me to Manti, Utah. 2 weeks after I moved here, I became the 3rd wife of John Harper. I was subsequently excommunicated from the LDS church for “adultery.” I have 2 daughters from my previous marriage, Megan, 15 and Kylie 12, and John considers them his own daughters. John and I have also been blessed with a new son, Jeremiah, who is 4 months old as of this writing (January 15, 1999.) I am grateful to John’s wives, Lorie and Janelle, who were unselfish enough to allow me to marry their husband. Without their willingness to live all of God’s laws, no matter how hard plural marriage is, I would not have my son today.
I am grateful for the many things I have learned since becoming a member of the True and Living Church of Saints of the Last Days. It gives me a peace of mind to know that we live laws as set forth by God. I belong to a church where living God’s laws is expected, not ridiculed. I remember when I was LDS, I asked the question why we were still called “latter-day” saints, when we were now in the “last” days. I was told that the prophet must not feel that we were in the “last” days yet or he would have let us know. It was comforting to me to know that this church does indeed recognize that these are the LAST days, as indicated by the name of the church. Another thing that comforted me about joining this church, was the level of participation required of the women. When I was a single LDS mom, there were times when my children required blessings for health, and no priesthood holder was available. Believing that what the Bible said was true, about the followers of Christ healing in His name, I administered healing blessings to my children. I felt that since I was a follower of Christ, I had every reason to expect that I could heal my children. Every time I blessed my girls, they were healed, sometimes with miraculous results. When I marveled to some of my LDS friends about the healings and the goodness of God, rather than being awed, they were appalled! A couple of them told me that I had no right to give blessings to my children because that was only something that priesthood holders (men) could do. I was shocked for a moment, but still felt I was right. I prayed to find out whether what I was doing was acceptable in the eyes of God.
The answer I received was that I was to look in the book, “The Teachings of The Prophet Joseph Smith.” I looked under the heading of “Women” and found two quotes that gave me great comfort. One was on page 224, under “Remarks of the Prophet to the Relief Society”:
“He said the reason of these remarks being made was, that some little foolish things were circulating in the society, against some sisters not doing right in laying hands on the sick. Said that if the people had common sympathies they would rejoice that the sick could be healed; ...”
And also on page 229:
“President Smith then gave instruction respecting the propriety of females administering to the sick by the prayer of faith, the laying on of hands, or anointing with oil; and said it was according to revelation that the sick should be nursed with herbs and mild food, and not by the hand of an enemy. Who are better qualified to administer than our faithful and zealous sisters, whose hearts are full of faith, tenderness, sympathy, and compassion. No one. “
In this church, not only are women allowed to participate in healing blessings, they are expected to do so.
I know that James Harmston is a prophet of God. I first gained that knowledge when I joined the church and attended the lessons called “The Models.” Jim explained many scriptures in such a way that I knew without a doubt he spoke for God. My testimony is also strengthened each week as I listen to Jim painstakingly explain Isaiah to us for 3-4 hours on end, verse by verse. As anyone who reads Isaiah knows, the book is written in such a way that the average person has no clue what he is saying. This was not a mistake. The book of Isaiah was purposely encoded so that those who chose to mistranslate the Bible over the centuries, would leave it alone, not knowing what it really said anyway. Now, a prophet of God, James Harmston, is able to teach us what Isaiah wanted us to know. The book is full of last day prophesies. Had I remained LDS, I would still be in the dark regarding what is really happening in the world today and what is going to happen soon.
It was extremely difficult for me to give up family, friends, a good job, and total autonomy to move here to Manti and be a part of this work. But the blessings I have received just since coming here, prove to me that I am doing the right thing.
I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Randi Harper