I was born a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints on April 2 1968 to a mother who was rather active LDS and had quite a few friends who sympathized with fundamentalism, and to a father who wasn't active and didn't want to have anything to do with such people. So I was exposed to both active and inactive points of view, as well as very occasional contact with fringe Mormons. My mother was also very interested in the study of Isaiah and would always be teaching me points in Isaiah, and bringing up topics that if known in church would cause discomfort. But I didn't know that there was anything wrong with speaking ones mind or calling a spade a spade. She would bring up topics such as latter-day destructions to occur, the LDS church being in complete apostasy before the Savior comes again, the LDS church being already apostate as far as polygamy and consecration are concerned. Things will continue to get worse in the LDS church. We live in a day resembling the days of Noah before the flood.

As a little kid growing up I would attend and participate in LDS church meetings, being about half active, and play hooky whenever I could get away with it. I never thought there was anything wrong, it was just exceedingly boring and I was a little kid.

As a teenager I became a fairly automatic tithe payer, so much so that even when I wasn't attending I was still setting 10% of all incoming money aside. One time I gave the bishop an envelope of tithing that had accumulated for about a year--I wasn't tempted to use it for anything else. I won't state the amount other to say that it was a lot of money at one time for me to have.

In spite of my mother's brief lessons in Isaiah from time to time regarding the LDS church that I always believed was crumbling doctrinally, I also believed that the LDS church wasn't totally apostate yet and there was no place to go that I knew of, and all the polygamist groups my parents checked out my father discerned as cons. Therefore, I felt to stay where I was.
Looking back I realize that I was always yearning for something in the lessons the truth or the spirit or the way of life eternal or that special something that I was not receiving. I didn't know what it was other than I wasn't getting it. The closest I came to receiving anything close to that was in 11th grade seminary taught by Randy Bott. The class was Doctrine and Covenants and Church History. That class was the most amazing class in regards to the gospel. I never knew that the gospel had so much depth to it. I would come early and stay late to get more out of it. Once I even skipped lunch which was after that class--it was actually interesting and I wanted to get as much as I could. When the semester was over I undertook a search to find that depth again to take that style of class again.

Upon graduating from High School in May of 1986, my family moved back to Placerville California where I eventually got involved in the formation of a brand new ward, the El Dorado 2nd young single adults ward. I found the work to be very exciting and I was most hopeful that I'd get the chance to come out of my shell and meet people and establish good relationships and get into some institute classes that were as good or better than that old 11th grade seminary class. Everything I'd heard about institute was that it was deeper and less shallow than high school seminary. I did get involved and became very active and was called as a home teacher and a stake missionary which aren't very glamorous callings but that was fine by me because I didn't like being in the spotlight anyway.

I was still seeking that special class and still not finding it. By this time I was attending an institute class being taught in our ward building in Placerville by our 1st counselor and professor of religion Paul Watkins. The class was on the Book of Mormon at the time and was also entertaining and quite social, but compared to my old 11th grade seminary class, it was still quite a bit below.

One night in institute class Paul Watkins said a very profound thing, he said; "Prayer study and fasting, are probably the simplest formula in the gospel, so simple in fact you won't do it!" That statement really hit home for me and caused me to reflect upon it often. I concluded to quit expecting someone else to provide the exciting spiritual atmosphere from a class of the past, and go after it myself.

Prayer, study, and fasting was the formula I had on my mind. The subjects I decided that I needed to work on first would be health and divine communication, so I could communicate with God and get better guidance than I had.

After about a year of this private study and socializing with the people in my ward, I was just beginning to discover methods of how to get into the "in" crowd when a friend of my mom called with some life-altering news.

My mom's friend was named Karen Greene. She was even more in tune with the pulse of things than my mom was, like fighting against the great conspiracy, food storage, home schooling, constitutionalism, and the "who's who" in such circles. Karen told my mom: "There's something happening in Manti, get out there and see as soon as you can." She did of course and returned with stories of Jim Harmston and a set of teachings he calls "the models" and how those teachings filled in many of the gaps left in her knowledge of Isaiah. Even in her clumsy attempts to teach me some of what she'd been taught I could tell that there was something of real substance here.

My Dad and Mom went to the next class of models alone so Dad could check out Jim first. Dad returned saying as far as he could tell Jim was all right. Then early in 1994 I went to the models with my Mom and two of my brothers. I remember the first time I saw Jim my impression was that he sure is an ordinary looking fellow (which reminded me of Randy Bott) to be causing such an extraordinary excitement. Then I listened to the models for the first time. The instruction lasted for 2 days, around 10 to 12 hours each day, so it was a lot of information to take in.

I didn't see any spirits, angels, Christ, or receive any spiritual manifestations, but I did get a witness of perfect exact rightness about what Jim was teaching--so right that only one of my traditions conflicted with it and that was a fairly easy tradition to let go of. Finally here was someone who wasn't afraid to speak up and let us all in on the great secret. I always got the impression from Paul Watkins that he was holding everything but the most superficial things back for some reason. It's like I'd been trying to fit a square peg into a round hole while wearing a blindfold and wondering why it didn't fit, and blaming myself for something being wrong.

As I said before, I'd always believed that the LDS church was sliding into apostasy but it wasn't fully apostate yet. Now I had something to compare that personal opinion to. Nobody in the LDS church ever talks about these things so it's very hard to perceive events, traditions, errors, and interpolations correctly because it's so taboo. Now that taboo was broken and I left the models realizing the LDS church isn't in a little trouble as I'd thought, it was in a lot of trouble in regards to rejecting every principle that would establish a Zion society. It was fully apostate as of the latest changes to the endowment in 1990, and it is fully ripe for destruction.

I went back to my old life in California unable to concentrate on anything except the models I'd just heard. My Institute class which had been semi-interesting before was very boring now and I couldn't wait to get back to Manti. One detail I'd like to include in this period was a desire to obtain a second witness to the things Jim was saying about the LDS church. So I was searching out various libraries for the books he referred to whenever opportunity would allow. I didn't find what I was looking for until I stopped in at the California State University of Sacramento library where I found a book called The Mormon Corporate Empire by Anson Shupe and John Heinerman. My brother checked it out for me and I read it cover to cover, took it back and had the Placerville library borrow a copy for me to read again. I also purchased the follow up book written by Anson Shupe called The Darker Side Of Virtue. These books brought up several very tough questions any Mormon couldn't answer.

A lot of the details escape me but sometime during the summer of 1994 I was baptized and endowed into The True and Living Church of Jesus Christ of Saints of the Last Days. It was here that I was introduced to the method of True Order of Prayer so my desire for a better method of communication with God was answered. I returned back to my old life in California thinking to make comments in church here and there which could be easily accepted. My only problem was that I couldn't stay awake in church anymore. It was as if my blood was all drained out leaving myself so tired and weak. I'm hypoglycemic so I thought it was sugar overdoses, but week after week it was the same and getting worse. I was told by my Mom that it was solemn blasphemy to continue to go to the LDS church as a member of the TLC, so I decided to bear my new found testimony I found in the TLC during a fast and testimony meeting. This offended the entire ward, and I was promptly excommunicated after refusing to take my testimony back. In June of 1995 I gathered to Manti and church hasn't been at all boring since. Amen.

Paul Kroon

Tuesday, October 27 1998

I do not have an internet address for anyone who may wish to respond to me but I do have a mailing address instead. Paul Kroon, PO Box 271, Manti, Utah, 84642