Click here for my Husband's Testimony
My name is Laura Harmston. I am a member of the True and Living Church of Jesus Christ of Saints of the Last days and am the sixth wife of James Dee Harmston.
I have had a strong testimony of the Savior for as long as I can remember and as a fourth generation member of the LDS Church, was active in my youth in the many programs the Church maintained to keep the youth busy and deeply involved if they wanted to take advantage of them. I did. I loved it and I was always active....but there was a missing element--an element for which my soul yearned and longed.
I had parents who taught me to pray the usual prayers which I faithfully said every night. If these rote prayers reached to heaven, I was never aware of it, but felt that I had to pray every night in order to be doing what was right. Even in my youth, I longed to be able to receive the answer to prayer. I cannot identify any incidence in my youth where I can actually say yes, God did communicate with me, though I said my prayers faithfully. I was twenty-seven years old, married, and had four children before I received an identifiable answer to prayer.
After our marriage in the Los Angeles Temple, my husband and I remained active, but my husband became wrapped up in the cares of the world and during the time we were going through the college years he made a very life-altering decision which I did not find out about until years later. He consciously decided that his career was more important than the Gospel of Jesus Christ. This had a definite effect on his activity in the church, his attitude toward religion, and his relationship with God. As his interest and desire for religion waned, mine increased. The usual problems of marriage and family came upon us as we struggled to raise our six children, but came to a peak in 1984 when our differences became so great that we divorced. The circumstances that surrounded that divorce are complicated and would be lengthy to explain. The simple reason was that I sought for Spiritual growth and progress and he did not. My seeking led me into what the Church termed an "apostate" group which resulted in my excommunication. Upon our divorce, my husband asked that his membership be removed as the LDS church meant nothing to him. But we both still loved each other.
The next ten years we rarely saw each other. I learned how to consistently listen for the promptings of the Spirit and receive answers to prayer. I gained an understanding of the confirmations of the Spirit and also of how the adversary can and does often put forth his influence and works his own confirmations. I experienced some of the most wonderful and also some of the most traumatic events of my whole life, but came through it with a close relationship with my Heavenly Father and my Savior, Jesus Christ, which is what had been my soul’s sincere desire. I maintained a belief in the LDS Church, in spite of my excommunication and spent my time more focused on the Gospel than I had ever done in my entire life. My husband’s career increased and blossomed which is what he had always desired. My own family relationships suffered greatly and all of the children were affected by what happened. That part of it hurt most of all. After seven years, deception crept into the group I had associated with and it was broken up. There was no priesthood authority there and there never had been any pretense of having any. The True Order of Prayer was not used or even understood. I believe that this was the reason that deception crept in. At that time I attempted to return to the LDS Church. I was in this process when I came in contact with the TLC.
My study of the scriptures, and especially the Book of Mormon had instilled in my soul a great love for the truths of the Gospel. The promises President Benson made about the Book of Mormon were realized in my life as I diligently tried to put into practice his admonitions with regard to that book. I truly believed and do believe to this day that those who fail to take that book seriously and fail to study it lie under great condemnation by the Lord.
It was because of my study of the Book of Mormon & Doctrine and Covenants that questions arose in my my mind with regard to some of the things that were being taught in the LDS Church.
During my attempt to return to the LDS Church, in conversation with one General Authority, I was told specifically not to pay attention to the words of dead prophets nor to seek to understand the mysteries. His words to me were:
“We have all that we can do just to keep up with what we have.”
We were not to seek for more. I was troubled by this in light of the scriptures I had read many times, such as:
Seek not for riches but for wisdom, and behold, the mysteries of God shall be unfolded unto you and then shall you be made rich. Behold, he that hath eternal life is rich. (D&C 6:7 & D&C 11:7)
If we must obtain the mysteries to obtain eternal life, why are the LDS General Authorities telling us to stay away from them?
Ask that you may know the mysteries of God, and that you may translate and receive knowledge from all those ancient records which have been hid up, that are sacred; and according to your faith shall it be done unto you. (D&C 8:11)
Did the LDS General Authorities think that our faith was too weak to obtain the mysteries? If so, why did they not exhort us constantly to exercise more faith so that we could obtain the mysteries instead of just telling us to stay away from them?
If thou shalt ask, thou shalt receive revelation upon revelation, knowledge upon knowledge, that thou mayest know the mysteries and peaceable things--that which bringeth joy, that which bringeth eternal life. (D&C 42:61)
Doesn't this mean that the mysteries are necessary for eternal life?
Behold, thou shalt observe all these things, and great shall be thy reward; for unto you it is given to know the mysteries of the kingdom, but unto the world it is not given to know them. (D&C 42:65)
Doesn’t this mean that the mysteries are necessary for us to be different from the world?
And this greater priesthood administereth the gospel and holdeth the key of the mysteries of the kingdom, even the key of the knowledge of God.(D&C 84:19)
If the power of the Priesthood was with the church, why are not the mysteries being revealed?
And now Alma began to expound these things unto him saying: It is given unto many to know the mysteries of God; nevertheless they are laid under a strict command that they shall not impart only according to the portion of his word which he doth grant unto the children of men according to the heed and diligence which they give unto him. And therefore, he that will harden his heart, the same receiveth the lesser portion of the word; and he that will not harden his heart, to him is given the greater portion of the word, until it is given unto him to know the mysteries of God until he knoweth them in full. And they that will harden their hearts, to them is given the lesser portion of the word until they know nothing concerning his mysteries; and then they are taken captive by the devil and led by his will down to destruction. Now this is what is meant by the chains of hell. (Alma 12:9-11)
Are the LDS general authorities trying to get us to harden
our hearts and thus denying us the blessings that could be ours?
Are they leading us down to destruction?
These are not the only scriptures dealing with the mysteries.
There are many and they all basically say the same thing: AN UNDERSTANDING
OF THE MYSTERIES ARE NECESSARY TO GAIN ETERNAL LIFE AND THE PRIESTHOOD
POWER AND ORDINANCES ARE A PART OF THAT. Nevertheless, I excused
this leader by saying he was human and made mistakes, that the
problems in the Church were not the Church, but the people.
Later as I listened to General Conferences I sensed the general message being presented to us was one of "ALL IS WELL IN ZION, YEA, ZION PROSPERETH."
Once again the Book of Mormon and the Doctrine and Covenants which carry a promise that they will unmask the enemies of Christ and reveal deception cried out a testimony against these men who preached these things:
For behold, at that day shall he range in the hearts of the children of men, and stir them up to anger against that which is good. And others will he pacify, and lull them away into carnal security, that they will say: All is well in Zion; yea, Zion prospereth, all is well--and thus the devil cheateth their souls, and leadeth them away carefully down to hell. (2 Nephi 28: 20-21)
Were we then being led carefully down to hell by leaders who were crying all is well?
Replete in the scriptures I found again and again the constant, strong, and even harsh warnings given by prophets in days of great wickedness. Never in days of wickedness have the righteous made friends with the wicked. Never have prophets of God ever made friends with the world. Always the mission and calling of Prophets has been to give warning to the world, to call people out of the world and do all that they can to get people to cleanse their souls and remove sins of all kinds. Why has that changed today?
To whom shall I speak, and give warning, that they may hear? behold, their ear [is] uncircumcised, and they cannot hearken: behold, the word of the LORD is unto them a reproach; they have no delight in it. (Jeremiah 6:10)
And now I, Jacob, spake many more things unto the people of Nephi, warning them against fornication and lasciviousness, and every kind of sin, telling them the awful consequences of them. (Jacob 3:12)
Latter-Day scriptures are very strong as to the mission of the Church in the last days. Where are those strong warnings now?
And that every man should take righteousness in his hands and faithfulness upon his loins, and lift a warning voice unto the inhabitants of the earth; and declare both by word and by flight that desolation shall come upon the wicked. (D&C 63:37)
For this is a day of warning, and not a day of many words. For I, the Lord, am not to be mocked in the last days. (D&C 63:58)
Also the Lord speaks out against the sins of His own people, the families of “Zion”. As I observed around me, the families of LDS members fit the description given in the Doctrine and covenants:
Now, I, the Lord, am not well pleased with the inhabitants of Zion, for there are idlers among them; and their children are also growing up in wickedness; they also seek not earnestly the riches of eternity, but their eyes are full of greediness. These things ought not to be, and must be done away from among them; wherefore, let my servant Oliver Cowdery carry these sayings unto the land of Zion. (D&C 68:31-32)
Has this changed? Are the LDS Youth idle? Are they growing up in wickedness? How many have had sex before marriage? It has gotten to the point that it isn’t even looked upon as a great sin......Is the Lord well pleased today?
It had been my belief for a long time that there would be a great cleansing of the LDS Church and that somehow God would set it in order prior to the Millennium. But I thought that somehow he would just keep the existing authorities and change their hearts, or that they were actually righteous but weren’t speaking out because the people wouldn’t listen anyway. So again I made excuses for the General Authorities who preached this and somehow felt that God would just take care of it in due time. But I wondered how long it would take before the Lord started cleaning up His Church and setting it in order. Things seemed to keep getting worse and the leaders seemed to be going along with it. The words of Isaiah seemed to fit:
For the people turneth not unto him that smiteth them, neither do they seek the LORD of hosts. Therefore the LORD will cut off from Israel head and tail, branch and rush, in one day. The ancient and honourable, he is the head; and the prophet that teacheth lies, he is the tail. For the leaders of this people cause them to err; and they that are led of them are destroyed. (Isaiah 9:13-16)
Therefore the Lord shall have no joy in their young men, neither shall have mercy on their fatherless and widows: for every one is an hypocrite and an evildoer, and every mouth speaketh folly. For all this his anger is not turned away, but his hand is stretched out still. (Isaiah 9:17)
Are we going to be destroyed if we follow the admonitions of leaders who go directly against scripture in their counsel? Are we blindly following without the witness of the Spirit of the Lord? Are we looking for carnal security rather than the iron rod? Are we evil doers but thinking we are ok because we can say yes to temple interview questions or because we dutifully pay our tithing or other outward things? Is this prophesying our destruction?
As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths. (Isaiah 3:12)
And my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they who lead thee cause thee to err and destroy the way of thy paths. (2 Nephi 13:12)
Many children today are oppressive, disobedient, and often rebellious. Parents struggle and do not have the answers but fail to seek to God to find them. These scriptures talk to and of God’s people. Were not the LDS supposed to be God’s people? These were only a few of the questions that came to me as I observed what was going on and compared it with what the scriptures said.
Not long afterward, I heard from one of the Bishopric in my ward that the group down in Manti had formed a church. My reaction was one of surprise and suspicion. I was sure that they must really be off.
However, I had some friends who had joined the TLC and who urged me to at least attend the models before I made any judgment. Long ago I made a promise to the Lord that I would not reject anything as being untrue unless He told me it was true or untrue. There was a reason for this promise. I have seen people take the word of other people who “know” without listening for themselves and by so doing make some very big mistakes and rob themselves of truth. I have also observed that one of Satan’s greatest tools is fear. He uses this so often to keep people from finding truth. I have seen people fail or refuse to read the Book of Mormon because they feared it might not be true and they didn’t want to be led astray! How foolish they are! Again, the words of the Book of Mormon classify those who fear to find new truth.
And in fine, wo unto all those who tremble, and are angry because of the truth of God! For behold, he that is built upon the rock receiveth it with gladness; and he that is built upon a sandy foundation trembleth lest he shall fall. Wo be unto him that shall say: We have received the word of God, and we need no more of the word of God, for we have enough! (2 Nephi 28:28-29)
This sounds like the LDS general authority I talked to ---and I understand Gordon B. Hinckley has recently said the same thing that I was told by the LDS general authority.
For behold, thus saith the Lord God; I will give unto the children of men line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little; and blessed are those who hearken unto my precepts, and lend an ear unto my counsel, for they shall learn wisdom; for unto him that receiveth I will give more; and from them that shall say, We have enough, from them shall be taken away even that which they have. (2 Nephi 28:30)
This seemed to be what was happening to the LDS Church: Less and less of the meat of the gospel was being comprehended and fear of learning anything that might challenge or question was being instilled.
Scripture study is neglected and often non-existent among most members of the LDS Church. At the time of the Savior, He chastened the people for not studying the Scriptures with the admonition:
Search the Scriptures, for in them ye think ye have eternal life. And they are they which testify of me. (John 5:39)
Other places point out the pitfalls of failing to study the scriptures.
Jesus answered and said unto them, Ye do err, not knowing the scriptures, nor the power of God. (Matthew 22:29)
And Jesus answering said unto them, Do ye not therefore err, because ye know not the scriptures, neither the power of God? (Mark 12:24)
And Alma said unto them: Behold, ye have said that ye could not worship your God because ye are cast out of your synagogues. But behold, I say unto you, if ye suppose that ye cannot worship God, ye do greatly err, and ye ought to search the scriptures; if ye suppose that they have taught you this, ye do not understand them. (Alma 33:2)
And Jesus answering said unto them, Ye do err therefore, because ye know not, and understand not the scriptures, neither the power of God. (JST Mark 12:28)
Failure to study and learn, fear to read what “might be untrue” because of fear of deceit are all things to be avoided. Truth is a part of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and with the discernment of the Spirit of God we can tell the difference. The filter for truth is the Holy Ghost. It is this gift that enables us to identify truth and separate it from error. But most of us fear truth, especially truth that leads to God, for when we come face to face with the reality of it, truth always requires choice. And acceptance of truth requires change.
I was reluctant to attend the models (The models are a two day seminar of condensed, intense instruction laying out the plan of Salvation as it was understood in Joseph’s day); nevertheless, I felt that if there was truth there, I owed it to myself to find out. I really thought when I first went that I would discover that they were off . As I sat listening to the models and grasping the concepts therein, I prayed. What about this stuff? Was it really true? Could it be possible that God had chosen to set his house in order by calling out a remnant and starting anew?.........The witness came, sure, solid, unmistakable. Scripturally sound doctrine was presented before me, backed by the witness of the Spirit to my soul. What was presented was true. Now the inevitable choice......what was I going to do?
I was scared....I was burned out on small groups. I had made adjustments in my life that I really liked. My Husband and I had remarried and were happy together, even though I was pursuing my religious beliefs and he was remaining in his lack of them. My family was once again functioning as a “normal family”. Involvement in the TLC could mess up a lot of things, things that I believe the scriptures term “carnal security”.
Also, I was getting close to getting my membership back in the LDS Church. Now I realized that I was seeking to regain membership in a church that had changed the ordinances, broken the everlasting covenants and lost the power of their Priesthood. No wonder I had so many questions come up as I had studied the scriptures, listened to the contradictions in doctrines espoused currently by LDS leaders.
It was not an easy choice....in fact it was among the hardest in my life. But I love the Lord more than anything or anybody. I have grown to know Him and to trust Him. I know He loves me and He will never forsake me. And now I knew he wanted me in Manti and a part of the TLC. I made the commitment to be baptized and returned home. When I discussed it with my husband, he did not say I couldn’t be baptized as he had promised me when we remarried that he would never stand in the way of my doing what I truly believed. He also agreed to attend the models.
The next few months were difficult ones as my time was divided between my family who wanted nothing to do with the TLC and my commitment to the TLC---no, not to the TLC, but to God who is now working through the TLC. Eventually, though my husband was impressed with the models and made the statement after attending that “if the LDS church had presented things that way, he probably would have been able to accept it”; now he chose another path which he believed he was being guided into. He issued me an ultimatum. It was a choice for me: Either I accept him as my Prophet, Priest and King, (even though he did not believe he needed Christ) and leave the TLC or keep my membership in the TLC. He gave me all the time I wanted to think about it and to make my decision. I waited a long time. I did not want to loose him again, nor did I want to separate from my family again. Some decisions are very hard. But the day came when I knew I had to make the choice. I told him I couldn’t follow him if he wouldn’t follow Christ. He opted for divorce and I moved to Manti permanently.
I have never regretted that decision despite the sorrow and pain of losing someone I loved, divorce and having my family refuse to consider or look into my beliefs. There is a peace through affliction that comes when you follow the Lord. There is a support that is not there otherwise, and that support has been with me.
I love my children and I pray for them daily. I want to be in a position that I can do everything possible for them should they ever decide to seek exaltation. I can only do that by gaining exaltation myself. This I am striving to do. The years I spent in the LDS Church never gave me any real hope of doing that. I was depressed and frustrated, not finding the truths that lead to exaltation. I have found them in the Fullness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. That fullness is found in the teachings of the TLC. Living the Fullness of the Gospel requires much by way of sacrifice, refinement and character development. I am grateful for that.....It is not something I found in the LDS church. Nor did I find the power in the Priesthood there that I have witnessed and experienced here. For truly the LDS drew near to Him with their lips, but their hearts were far from Him. Prayers are answered here, for every man, woman, and child is taught to pray and hear the answers to prayer....unmistakably, unitedly, and backed by the Witness of God. There is only one way to Salvation and exaltation and that is through the Lord Jesus Christ, His way. And His way includes the order of the True Priesthood of God.....that same Priesthood which existed in the beginning and does again exist in the end through truly authorized servants of God. This is found here within the TLC. It is available to all who will come----all who are willing to make the commitment and conform their lives to the will of the Lord. And to you who may read this I bear this witness: God lives. Jesus Christ is the Son of God and the Redeemer of the World. There is about to come upon this earth destructions such as the world has never known. True safety will only come through the power of the Priesthood of God....for the redemption of Zion must needs come by power...which power is functioning on the earth at this time in the True and Living Church of Jesus Christ of Saints of the Last Days. I have felt that power, I have seen it operate in my life and in the lives of those about me. It is real and it comes from God. I bear you this witness in the name of Him who is the Redeemer of this world, Jesus Christ. Amen.
Laura Harmston
Testimony of Plural Marriage:
I have not included in my testimony above anything about plural marriage. This is not because I do not have a testimony of it. I do. It is not because I am adverse to it. I am not. It is not because I do not live it. Quite obviously, I do. But too often plural marriage becomes the focus of people’s concerns and arguments rather than the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Plural marriage is but a small part of the plan of exaltation for God’s children, but it is a part. If our goal is exaltation, we must meet all the requirements.......the greatest of which and the most difficult is the refinement and sanctification of our own souls. Plural marriage is of inestimable value in doing this. While plural marriage, like many of the commandments which God gives us that are perceived upon their first introduction as restrictive or binding, when properly lived brings freedom. As all of the truths of God are designed to make men free, plural marriage was designed to bring freedom to men as well as women. As we begin to understand it more, conform our lives to the commandments of God, and release our own carnal concepts and perceptions, we find this to be true. And true happiness is the result. As Joseph Smith said:
Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it; and this path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God. But we cannot keep all the commandments without first knowing them, and we cannot expect to know all, or more than we now know unless we comply with or keep those we have already received. That which is wrong under one circumstance, may be, and often is, right under another. (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, Section Five 1842–43, p.255)
The path to Godhood is strewn with change. Our ability to conform our lives to the revelations and commandments of God will determine our progress. Plural marriage is only one of those areas of change. We can’t pick and choose, we can’t avoid or ignore. We must, if we desire to attain the same glory that God has attained, pursue and follow the same path. This testimony I also bear as it is embedded into my soul by the Holy Spirit of God, in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Laura Harmston