Amandah Maudsley Hanks
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for my Husband Jeff Hanks' Testimony
My
name is Amandah Maudsley Hanks. I am twenty-one years old and
have been a member of the True and Living Church for over four
years. I have been a seeker of God my entire life. When I was
thirteen my search for myself and God began. I promised that
I would read the Book of Mormon and came to love the words of
truth that it contained. I spent the next four years in self
searching and trying to become more Godly. This was a very difficult
time in my life. So many things didn't make sense. In November
of 1993 my parents came home after attending a class taught by
Jim Harmston showing the Plan and the Fullness of the Gospel.
I felt that the truth was finally presented to me. It was like
remembering something that I had known but forgotten. I could
clearly see God's plan and the beauty of it. I had never felt
the Spirit so strongly. I had to come to Manti and learn more.
When I came to Manti I didn't know what to expect. I still
had limited knowledge because of my LDS background. I was taught
that all I had to do was go to church and endure to the end. This
had never made sense to me when I looked through history and saw
the sacrifice and suffering of the ancient and early saints. What
made me think that I could sit at the table of the Lord with all
the ancient and early dispensation prophets and saints when I
hadn't accomplished half or even a quarter of what they had? After
all the scriptures taught that God was just and that He doesn't
change. So when I came to Manti I found what I had been looking
for, the Fullness of the Gospel.
About this time I met my future husband Jeff Hanks. I had always
known to keep an eye out for a tall blonde man, because it had
been revealed to me as a child that I was to marry this tall blonde
man. When I met Jeff I knew it was him. He was then married to
Joanne, his wife of seven years. I prayed about marrying him several
times and felt that it was the right thing to do. I was concerned
about entering into polygamy but I felt sure that God would help
me through. So I married Jeff on July 9, 1994.
For the first year I received a crash course in "what
I'm really like 101". Every bit of nastiness and jealousy
that I had in me rose to the surface. I had to either change or
remain in the misery I was feeling. I had to look at the ideas
that I had held of romantic love and companionship and analyze
them. I had to learn to get along with a woman that shared the
same husband as myself. She went through the same thing that I
did. The first year was very difficult for all of us, but we desired
to do the will of God so we became a team and worked together.
Jeff did the best he could. He was as fair and as good as he could
be. Slowly but surely things got better and we became happier.
After four years of trial and error I feel absolutely happy
and contented with my life as a polygamist wife. My husband is
kind and good. He treats his wives with love and respect.
I can honestly testify that plural marriage has made me a better
woman. I love the principle with all my heart. I see the goodness
and sense of it. I enjoy the company of my sister-wife Joanne.
We have become the best of friends, because you love those you
sacrifice for. We have sacrificed much. We have sacrificed a monogamous
marriage with Jeff but we have gained the relationship of a sister.
I cherish this relationship because it was earned through difficult
circumstance, and I will always hold it in high regard. I now
find my self being concerned about her not being with Jeff enough
or maybe needing some time alone or just having some girl-talk
instead of worrying about these things for myself. I have also
found that God always rewards the sacrifices of His people. I
testify that He has rewarded me. He has found me in my hour of
trial and comforted me in my pain. I have grown spiritually and
emotionally through it all. I cannot sing the praises of this
principle enough. Yes, it is difficult but the rewards far out
way the sacrifices. I see it as a glorious and wonderful principle
when lived righteously, and I will forever be a witness to its
rightfulness.
I have found peace here. I found myself here because I found
God. I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and know
that He exists. I have felt His presence and never experienced
greater joy and happiness. I have been in the presence of angels
and have found further light and knowledge. I know that God answers
prayers because He has answered mine. I testify that James Harmston
is a servant of God. I have seen the light of his countenance
and know that God is with him.
I am thankful for my life and the experiences that I have been
through. I am grateful for my pain, sorrow, and joy for through
them God has taught me obedience to Him. I love the Gospel, I
love the truth, and I love God, and I show this by walking in
the paths that He has set for His people. I will leave you with
the words of Joseph Smith. These are words that I have tried to
convey in my testimony, and I hope that they will be taken to
heart and cherished as all truth should be.
"6. For unless a person does know that he is walking
according to the will of God, it would be offering an insult
to the dignity of the Creator were he to say that he would be
a partaker of his glory when he should be done with the things
of this life. But when he has this knowledge, and most assuredly
knows that he is doing the will of God, his confidence can be
equally strong that he will be a partaker of the glory of God.
8. It is in vain for persons to fancy to themselves that they
are heirs with those, or can be heirs with them, who have offered
their all in sacrifice, and by this means obtain faith in God
and favor with him so as to obtain eternal life, unless they,
in like manner, offer unto him the same sacrifice, and through
that offering obtain the knowledge that they are accepted of
him.
9. It was in offering sacrifices that Abel, the first martyr,
obtained knowledge that he was accepted of God. And from the
days of righteous Abel to the present time, the knowledge that
men have that they are accepted in the sight of God is obtained
by offering sacrifice. And in the last days, before the Lord
comes, he is to gather together his saints who have made a covenant
with him by sacrifice. Psalm 1:3, 4, 5 [sic]: "Our God shall
come, and shall not keep silence: a fire shall devour before
him, and it shall be very tempestuous round about him. He shall
call to the heavens from above, and to the earth, that he may
judge his people. Gather my saints together unto me; those that
have made a covenant with me by sacrifice."
10. Those, then, who make the sacrifice, will have the testimony
that their course is pleasing in the sight of God; and those
who have this testimony will have faith to lay hold on eternal
life, and will be enabled, through faith, to endure unto the
end, and receive the crown that is laid up for them that love
the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ." [Lectures on
Faith 6:6, 8-10)]
This is my testimony of the truth and God willing when I am
brought to judgment there will be nothing lacking in my words.
I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ my Lord, Amen.
Amandah Maudsley Hanks
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